I’ve worked a retail job for several months. Even though I was told I was being placed in a high theft area and I knew people steal stupid stuff for no reason, I’m shocked on an almost daily bases by the packaging of stolen items that I find. So flummoxed am I that I feel like sharing some of the strangest ones that I’ve encountered.

Stealing is wrong. Period-Point-Blank. Doesn’t matter if you follow the Ten Commandments or the law of the land, it’s one of the things you’re born knowing. Now, I could understand someone stealing food if they’re starving and have no money. And while I’ve found empty candy bars and half drunk sodas–which put that into question–the vast majority of items that I’ve found are those that people do not need, and in some cases, are inexpensive to buy.

I’ve discovered ripped open makeup packages, a twenty dollar perfume package, and an empty painkiller packet. People have stolen individual and sets of makeup brushes even though most eyeshadow/blush sets come with their own applicators. Yes, there small and break eventually, but they’re there! I’ve found items stolen that cost only a dollar; the cheapest of toothpastes and the travel size listerines. That’s right. Someone opened a pint sized mouth wash, downed it, capped it, and put it back on the shelf. Do these people not have a dollar, or are they incapable of waiting until they get home?

I was recently dragged over to automotive and I found more thefts, either completed or in progress. The most common item stolen? Car fresheners that are ninety nine cents. Come on people! Either clean out your car or role down a window if you’re that desperate.

Out of all of that, my most ridiculous one came from the pharmacy section. No, it wasn’t medicine. It was a pregnancy kit. A eighty-eight cent pregnancy kit that had been stolen. I felt like banging my head on something. A little bit of advice to the ladies out there; if you’re so poor that you can’t pass up a dollar in exchange for determining if you’re pregnant, than don’t go having sex.

I have a feeling that theft discoveries are far from over and I’m sure crazier ones are on the horizon. If I ever come across these people I’ll point them to a radio channel from a town I used to live in where the person’s favorite line was this; “It’s STUPID to steal small.”

Actually, it’s just plain stupid.


Disclaimer: I do not own the imagery used in this blog post and have no artistic claim to it.


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