Switch back to us today and we’ll give you a $250 credit.

That was part of an incentive I was sent twice in as many weeks. I
have to admit, it was tempting. Very tempting–strange energy company whom I’ve never known.

That’s correct. I don’t know these people. I’ve never had an energy bill with them and–to the Unknownbest of my knowledge–they’ve never supplied anything to any residence that I’ve called a humble abode. In fact, to this date, I’ve never payed an energy bill of any kind. How can this be, you ask? I live in my parent’s house and only pay rent as they request it. Strange times call for strange measures. Key the Twilight Zone.

The first bill I promptly ignored. The second gave me pause. It had my name–spelled correctly for once–the address, and like the previous one, promised me great rewards if I once again graced them with my business. The thing made me wonder. If I’d never had an energy bill, had no reason to receive one, and wasn’t even the primary resident, how was this possible? I came up with two possibilities. Either someone’s marketing team isn’t up to snuff, or a time warp occurred.

Perhaps the latter is more likely. After all, the bill could’ve easily slipped out of a mysterious blue police box that travels across space and time and I’ve just received a glimpse of my future. I’d have preferred a letter applauding my acquisition of a fine house on ten acres of land along with a string of literary successes, but hey, maybe that one took a detour.

For now I’ll chalk up those bills to normal, real life misunderstandings. If I get a third, however, I’ll have to send them a note, something to this effect:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate your most generous offer attempting to regain my business when I’ve never used your services. Please wait until I’ve traveled to the correct place and time for this event to occur before trying to proposition me again. If you wish to continue corresponding between now and then, please keep sending your bill’s via my dear friend and Time Lord, Dr. Who.

images

Disclaimer: I do not own the imagery used in this post and have no artistic claim to it.

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